I walked these days. Walking lets my mind wonder as my feet trots as my ears glaze over the music and my mind took on wings. I am dying to cry so that my hurt can come to the surface. Does it make sense? I realise I understood why people cut themselves… because the physical pain is so much easier to endure. I try to keep myself sane…. I must think of the 6 years not as a lost, but an indulgence on my part.
The cattelya filled my mind..
Lord, I pray that I will never forget that you are my priority and be seduced by work, under the pretext of responsibility. That I will abide and remember to put God in the center, even if it is because I want to fill in other things as well. I will ‘train’ myself to walk in faithfulness with faith and make it part of me. I want to twirl in joy.
Holy Spirit – please heal and fill my heart; least revenge and evil thoughts consume all of me. I afflicted by bruises and cuts…Lord, if this heart is yours…truly it is within your power to resuscitate it.
When live by I faith, I have the courage of God. Someday, somehow please let me write the piece you put in my heart/mind. Lord, I must leave the solution to you… and stop working on it on my own.
Lord, can you be my defence? Or rather, can you help me gain favour with people… for the ways of man are fragile and worldly. The defence of the God is righteous and strong. If I live by you – and keep my eyes glue to you; I think I will overcome even the deepest traps and potholes.